Tomorrow she turns two…

I am not ready for my baby to be 2…

She always was my final baby, but soon to be a ‘baby’ no more. She started standing and walking before she was 1, so really she’s been a toddler for a long time already.

She is a whirlwind, this final baby of mine. She has never slept in her cot, and has once, once… settled herself to sleep without boobs in the last 2 years. She starts every night snuggled up to me, and I attempt to get her onto her mattress for the duration… inevitably she ends up back in my arms at least once in the night.

So unlike my first, who took to her cot at 6 months in her own room, without too much drama. My first who decided on her own terms that she was done with boobs at 13 months versus my last who still feeds at night, no doubt for comfort alone… yet won’t cuddle unless half asleep.

Both girls, both parented the same, so completely different.

#thisistwo

The First 12 Weeks!

So you’ve spent X number of hours in labour which is hell on earth, then you spend a few sleepless nights in hospital being poked and prodded, while trying to take in all the instructions and hoping you’re doing it all right.  Then they send you home with the tiny, pink wiggly human.

Image: Me and Our Tiny New Human

Now, if you’re anything like most first time parents, then you would have spent some time amassing baby ‘stuff’.

There are some things that I really wish I hadn’t bothered with, and one or two things that I wish I had, and you know what, it’s not some secret club, someone should have told me!  (Please note that any links to sites are purely based on what we have bought, I am not intentionally endorsing these products, have not been paid to do so either – more’s the shame!)

1. Outfits to bring new human home in… yes you have to pack a few outfits for the hospital, but even with the additional growth scans that we had which told us we were in for a 7.5 to 8.5 lb baby, they were wrong, she was a tiddler at 6.09 and even the ‘newborn’ sizes were swamping her.  She was 4 days old when we had to take a trip out to find some ‘tiny baby’ clothes! So maybe pack a tiny baby set, a newborn set and a massive baby set (if there is such a thing).  Your fella/birth partner can always go get more of the right size when they get kicked out after visiting hours!
2. Bounty hospital photos, have them done, you wont get another chance, they’re not cheap but they’re lovely.  So maybe do some research about the packages and the prices.  We really liked the ‘special delivery’ cards and used them to announce her arrival to family.  A lot of the photos that we got are still in a folder awaiting framing etc. so perhaps we didn’t need them all, but they will have their places in time… when we have time… so never?

1. Nappies…. don’t bulk buy before the arrival of the tiny new human.  You my find that the brand of nappy that you have bought in by the boat load doesn’t agree with the tiny new human’s delicate derriere.  They might be the wrong shape for them.  E.g. we were gifted a number of different brands, many of which the tiny new human (TNH) leaked out of or got nappy rash from, the ones that worked a charm for us were the Aldi Mamia nappies.  As soon as the TNH is big enough I am also going to try to use cloth/resusable … do not try this until the TNH has stopped pooping marmite, or you may as well bin them along with the disposables.
2. Wipes…. they tell you that you can’t use any wipes in the beginning, and you are meant to use cotton wool and water.  DON’T… think about wiping up marmite with cotton wool balls…. fail.  We found ‘water wipes’ they were brilliant, and from what I have seen on the market there are other brands that are now marketing wipes for newborns… use them!  We have since moved on to cheeky wipes (reusable wipes) in the house and only use disposable wipes when we are out and about.
3. Nappy disposal system things… Forget it, they’re all the expensive space invading pile of rubbish, all they do is wrap a nappy which is exactly what a biodegradable nappy bag will do (I got 250 for a quid in the Range! and Boots do their own for 50p)
4. Baby Toiletries… yes that new baby smell is not Johnsons, and in fact you shouldn’t use anything on the TNH’s skin until they are 6 months or more, especially not soaps or talcs that dry the skin, or baby oil (you end up with a slippery TNH and that’s no fun!), or indeed the baby lotion, it’s perfumed and in my mind if it can take off my 24 hour mascara then it’s too strong for an infant’s skin.  I use coconut oil for everything; baby bum/barrier cream and moisturiser.  Also there is no need to use baby bath – same as soap, dries them out!  This is all a bit of a pain in the butt when it’s one of the main gifted items… still we have ended up using it all on ourselves, so maybe it’s the parents that smell like new baby?
5. ‘White Noise’ App/monitor/toy – you NEED one, whether it’s an app on your phone or Ewan the Dream Sheep, or on your baby monitor, one with or without light, light shows, night light… whatever… you need it, trust me.  The bounty lady introduced me to the app when she was taking the pictures of the TNH and it calmed her like a dream, enough to get some lovely first pictures.
6. Swaddle blanket… in the beginning while I was in hospital she wouldn’t tolerate being swaddled and I spent two mornings (like from midnight to 5am) walking the halls of the hospital ward as the TNH wouldn’t settle in the hospital cot, and I was too afraid to have her cuddled on me in my bed as I’d had no sleep in three days and the hospital beds are high!  As time has gone on we wouldn’t have coped without the swaddle blanket.  The TNH is a night-time raver; she flings her arms about, knocking her dummy out (another thing we didn’t want to give her but colic at 3 weeks old showed us the error of our ways!), and generally being a bit of a wally and waking herself up…. get those arms swaddled, and if you need to, use the ‘double swaddle’ where you trap their arms with muslin before wrapping your baby burrito for the night.  Granted she is now coming up to 12 weeks and is big enough for the grobags so we don’t use the swaddle but we have still wrapped her arms if we need to.
7. Snugglebundl….. now this is something that we didn’t have but my god do I wish we did.  In fact I regularly scour ebay for second hand ones as for a simple design they are bloody expensive  new. (Edited: I have now managed to get a second hand one and despite my declaration that it is ‘just a blanket with handles’ I LOVE mine and totally wish I had got it when she was newborn!)
   

   

   (Apart from anything else it makes weighing the baby dead easy with luggage scales)

8. Scratch Mittens… pointless, burn them… if you find you need to keep your TNH from gouging out their eyes with their razor sharp fingernails then get the sleepsuits with the integrated mittens, even then they WILL wriggle out of them.  We had to put mittens ON TOP of the suits with integrated mittens to succeed, and even then in the morning we would often find that little Miss Houdini had her fingers firmly in her EYES!! (Dear god child leave the eyes alone)
9. Anything from the Natural Birthing Company is amazing! I used their perineal massage oil (still needed an episiotomy mind you!), their down below tincture for recovery and the bosom buddies kit while breast feeding. All blissfully amazing! You’ll also need reusable breast pads and sanitary pads. They’re kinder to your delicate areas and better for the environment.
10. A Nursing app, I use BabyNursing, you will be in no state of mind to remember when you last fed your baby, from which boob (if breastfeeding you should always start on the breast they finished their last feed on).  It also can record nappies which was great when we went through 11 days of no poops! (Which is normal for breastfed babies, but we didn’t know!).  I had to use an app as ‘feeding on demand’wasn’t working for us, so I had to switch to feeding every two hours regardless of whether she gave cues.
11. A Sling; Not one of those solid form carriers, I am talking about a stretchy flexible sling like this;

It can be used as prescribed so that you can get some stuff done in the house, take a walk, go to the loo even, with the little TNH attached to you.  You can also use it as an impromptu breast feeding cover (which personally I never covered for as the TNH didn’t latch with her face covered), changing mat, blanket etc.  There is a whole community of ‘baby wearers’ out there, there are sling libraries that you can borrow from and other ‘wearers’ you can get advice from.  You also don’t need buy a jazzy new expensive one, I got mine off ebay second hand for £10 and it’s been amazing, you can even make your own and there are ‘patterns’ all over the internet, however it’s just a VERY long piece of slightly stretchy fabric!

Things that they don’t tell you that you need to know…

1. *TMI Warning* The first post-partum poop! It’s terrifying, thanks to another Mummy friend I survived.  You will need a flannel/washcloth and a sink of hot water (as hot or warm as you can bare on your nethers) when you feel the urge – which might not be for a few days (the longer you wait the harder it will be) press the hot washcloth over your perineum and vagina while you go.  It’s not a pleasant experience but one that is made easier the earlier you go.
2. You will never get anything done ever again… or if you do (via the grace of a sling) it’s 100 times slower than you ever expect.  You will need hours to prepare to leave the house, then double it.  Shower? Dream on!
3. “Sleep when the baby sleeps” is bollocks! – when the baby sleeps you’ll want to shower, eat, brush your teeth, do laundry, hoover, yadda yadda yadda – you never sleep when the baby sleeps.  Sometimes you even just sit there staring at the TNH while they sleep, waiting for them to wake up because you can’t quite believe they’re actually asleep…
4. The only thing you can do when your Velcro baby is sleeping on you is use your smartphone, that’s why we’re all on Facebook, or amazon… Same when you’re breastfeeding…
5. You talk about poop A LOT…
6. You recall other parents at baby groups by the name of their child… my memory is still shot to shit and I can barely remember my own name most days.

What I will say about this life changing event (becoming a Mum!) is that it has taken me to the highest I will ever be, I can’t believe how amazing this Tiny New Human is, and how much I adore her, I could kiss her baby head, breathe in her skin and cuddle her to me, or just watch her breathe, all the hours on the earth.  In the same breath she has brought crashing lows; 3 days with 20 minutes sleep makes you question everything, when they just WONT sleep, or when they are crying with such desperation and there is nothing you can do.  It will test your sanity.  I know that in 12 weeks we probably haven’t even seen the highest high or the lowest low yet, but I do know there is probably very little I wont do for just a few more minutes sleep…

Adventures with our TNH can be seen on Instagram; PandoraPeroxide

I am sure there are loads of other things and anecdotes that can be added to this, so please feel free to add your own in comments.

And of course … not to mention that without my Steve … well we wouldn’t be here with our amazing little Squidge.  He is the most amazing man in the universe. xx