Where are we now?

So what’s the sit-rep?

I think since last blog post we’ve probably moved house, I’ve moved jobs – same employer, but finally after 20 years I am actually in a job that might actually use some of my long forgotten skills from my degree, never give up kids!

Our tiny new human is now a small person and she is bludy hilarious. The unhusband and I haven’t killed each other yet but he is laying a new patio soon… not sure who would need the alibi but if I start asking about anyone who can lay a patio for me then you can make your own mind up… (I AM JOKING OF COURSE)

Then there’s C***D19, which to be honest I actually have far more going on in my life to stress about than working from home since March 2020, having no money and trying to educate afore mentioned small person. It’s been hard and I am not a c**idiot.

I’ve gained a sickly 32lbs in the last two years … more on that later no doubt … the weightloss surgery wasn’t completely pointless as I dread to think where I would be without it but it’s hard. I run, on and off in between injuries, and I have now got a treadmill called ‘Long Distance Clara’ that I am trying to use daily.

I am back to being fully medicated for my mental health, no stigma, it is what it is, and maybe more on that at some point.

Have spent today off with the cub, we have had school zoom classes, well actually only one, as we were in the garden for the second one and she wasn’t actually complaining for once, so we sacked it off to carry on. Considering she’s spent a whole 5 minutes outside in the last fortnight I made a parental choice.

Now we are (the royal ‘We’ – I do all the work) going to make apple muffin things and have a girls evening eating popcorn while the unhusband is at work!

adieu

The First 12 Weeks!

So you’ve spent X number of hours in labour which is hell on earth, then you spend a few sleepless nights in hospital being poked and prodded, while trying to take in all the instructions and hoping you’re doing it all right.  Then they send you home with the tiny, pink wiggly human.

Image: Me and Our Tiny New Human

Now, if you’re anything like most first time parents, then you would have spent some time amassing baby ‘stuff’.

There are some things that I really wish I hadn’t bothered with, and one or two things that I wish I had, and you know what, it’s not some secret club, someone should have told me!  (Please note that any links to sites are purely based on what we have bought, I am not intentionally endorsing these products, have not been paid to do so either – more’s the shame!)

1. Outfits to bring new human home in… yes you have to pack a few outfits for the hospital, but even with the additional growth scans that we had which told us we were in for a 7.5 to 8.5 lb baby, they were wrong, she was a tiddler at 6.09 and even the ‘newborn’ sizes were swamping her.  She was 4 days old when we had to take a trip out to find some ‘tiny baby’ clothes! So maybe pack a tiny baby set, a newborn set and a massive baby set (if there is such a thing).  Your fella/birth partner can always go get more of the right size when they get kicked out after visiting hours!
2. Bounty hospital photos, have them done, you wont get another chance, they’re not cheap but they’re lovely.  So maybe do some research about the packages and the prices.  We really liked the ‘special delivery’ cards and used them to announce her arrival to family.  A lot of the photos that we got are still in a folder awaiting framing etc. so perhaps we didn’t need them all, but they will have their places in time… when we have time… so never?

1. Nappies…. don’t bulk buy before the arrival of the tiny new human.  You my find that the brand of nappy that you have bought in by the boat load doesn’t agree with the tiny new human’s delicate derriere.  They might be the wrong shape for them.  E.g. we were gifted a number of different brands, many of which the tiny new human (TNH) leaked out of or got nappy rash from, the ones that worked a charm for us were the Aldi Mamia nappies.  As soon as the TNH is big enough I am also going to try to use cloth/resusable … do not try this until the TNH has stopped pooping marmite, or you may as well bin them along with the disposables.
2. Wipes…. they tell you that you can’t use any wipes in the beginning, and you are meant to use cotton wool and water.  DON’T… think about wiping up marmite with cotton wool balls…. fail.  We found ‘water wipes’ they were brilliant, and from what I have seen on the market there are other brands that are now marketing wipes for newborns… use them!  We have since moved on to cheeky wipes (reusable wipes) in the house and only use disposable wipes when we are out and about.
3. Nappy disposal system things… Forget it, they’re all the expensive space invading pile of rubbish, all they do is wrap a nappy which is exactly what a biodegradable nappy bag will do (I got 250 for a quid in the Range! and Boots do their own for 50p)
4. Baby Toiletries… yes that new baby smell is not Johnsons, and in fact you shouldn’t use anything on the TNH’s skin until they are 6 months or more, especially not soaps or talcs that dry the skin, or baby oil (you end up with a slippery TNH and that’s no fun!), or indeed the baby lotion, it’s perfumed and in my mind if it can take off my 24 hour mascara then it’s too strong for an infant’s skin.  I use coconut oil for everything; baby bum/barrier cream and moisturiser.  Also there is no need to use baby bath – same as soap, dries them out!  This is all a bit of a pain in the butt when it’s one of the main gifted items… still we have ended up using it all on ourselves, so maybe it’s the parents that smell like new baby?
5. ‘White Noise’ App/monitor/toy – you NEED one, whether it’s an app on your phone or Ewan the Dream Sheep, or on your baby monitor, one with or without light, light shows, night light… whatever… you need it, trust me.  The bounty lady introduced me to the app when she was taking the pictures of the TNH and it calmed her like a dream, enough to get some lovely first pictures.
6. Swaddle blanket… in the beginning while I was in hospital she wouldn’t tolerate being swaddled and I spent two mornings (like from midnight to 5am) walking the halls of the hospital ward as the TNH wouldn’t settle in the hospital cot, and I was too afraid to have her cuddled on me in my bed as I’d had no sleep in three days and the hospital beds are high!  As time has gone on we wouldn’t have coped without the swaddle blanket.  The TNH is a night-time raver; she flings her arms about, knocking her dummy out (another thing we didn’t want to give her but colic at 3 weeks old showed us the error of our ways!), and generally being a bit of a wally and waking herself up…. get those arms swaddled, and if you need to, use the ‘double swaddle’ where you trap their arms with muslin before wrapping your baby burrito for the night.  Granted she is now coming up to 12 weeks and is big enough for the grobags so we don’t use the swaddle but we have still wrapped her arms if we need to.
7. Snugglebundl….. now this is something that we didn’t have but my god do I wish we did.  In fact I regularly scour ebay for second hand ones as for a simple design they are bloody expensive  new. (Edited: I have now managed to get a second hand one and despite my declaration that it is ‘just a blanket with handles’ I LOVE mine and totally wish I had got it when she was newborn!)
   

   

   (Apart from anything else it makes weighing the baby dead easy with luggage scales)

8. Scratch Mittens… pointless, burn them… if you find you need to keep your TNH from gouging out their eyes with their razor sharp fingernails then get the sleepsuits with the integrated mittens, even then they WILL wriggle out of them.  We had to put mittens ON TOP of the suits with integrated mittens to succeed, and even then in the morning we would often find that little Miss Houdini had her fingers firmly in her EYES!! (Dear god child leave the eyes alone)
9. Anything from the Natural Birthing Company is amazing! I used their perineal massage oil (still needed an episiotomy mind you!), their down below tincture for recovery and the bosom buddies kit while breast feeding. All blissfully amazing! You’ll also need reusable breast pads and sanitary pads. They’re kinder to your delicate areas and better for the environment.
10. A Nursing app, I use BabyNursing, you will be in no state of mind to remember when you last fed your baby, from which boob (if breastfeeding you should always start on the breast they finished their last feed on).  It also can record nappies which was great when we went through 11 days of no poops! (Which is normal for breastfed babies, but we didn’t know!).  I had to use an app as ‘feeding on demand’wasn’t working for us, so I had to switch to feeding every two hours regardless of whether she gave cues.
11. A Sling; Not one of those solid form carriers, I am talking about a stretchy flexible sling like this;

It can be used as prescribed so that you can get some stuff done in the house, take a walk, go to the loo even, with the little TNH attached to you.  You can also use it as an impromptu breast feeding cover (which personally I never covered for as the TNH didn’t latch with her face covered), changing mat, blanket etc.  There is a whole community of ‘baby wearers’ out there, there are sling libraries that you can borrow from and other ‘wearers’ you can get advice from.  You also don’t need buy a jazzy new expensive one, I got mine off ebay second hand for £10 and it’s been amazing, you can even make your own and there are ‘patterns’ all over the internet, however it’s just a VERY long piece of slightly stretchy fabric!

Things that they don’t tell you that you need to know…

1. *TMI Warning* The first post-partum poop! It’s terrifying, thanks to another Mummy friend I survived.  You will need a flannel/washcloth and a sink of hot water (as hot or warm as you can bare on your nethers) when you feel the urge – which might not be for a few days (the longer you wait the harder it will be) press the hot washcloth over your perineum and vagina while you go.  It’s not a pleasant experience but one that is made easier the earlier you go.
2. You will never get anything done ever again… or if you do (via the grace of a sling) it’s 100 times slower than you ever expect.  You will need hours to prepare to leave the house, then double it.  Shower? Dream on!
3. “Sleep when the baby sleeps” is bollocks! – when the baby sleeps you’ll want to shower, eat, brush your teeth, do laundry, hoover, yadda yadda yadda – you never sleep when the baby sleeps.  Sometimes you even just sit there staring at the TNH while they sleep, waiting for them to wake up because you can’t quite believe they’re actually asleep…
4. The only thing you can do when your Velcro baby is sleeping on you is use your smartphone, that’s why we’re all on Facebook, or amazon… Same when you’re breastfeeding…
5. You talk about poop A LOT…
6. You recall other parents at baby groups by the name of their child… my memory is still shot to shit and I can barely remember my own name most days.

What I will say about this life changing event (becoming a Mum!) is that it has taken me to the highest I will ever be, I can’t believe how amazing this Tiny New Human is, and how much I adore her, I could kiss her baby head, breathe in her skin and cuddle her to me, or just watch her breathe, all the hours on the earth.  In the same breath she has brought crashing lows; 3 days with 20 minutes sleep makes you question everything, when they just WONT sleep, or when they are crying with such desperation and there is nothing you can do.  It will test your sanity.  I know that in 12 weeks we probably haven’t even seen the highest high or the lowest low yet, but I do know there is probably very little I wont do for just a few more minutes sleep…

Adventures with our TNH can be seen on Instagram; PandoraPeroxide

I am sure there are loads of other things and anecdotes that can be added to this, so please feel free to add your own in comments.

And of course … not to mention that without my Steve … well we wouldn’t be here with our amazing little Squidge.  He is the most amazing man in the universe. xx

Halfway Pregnant…

Well what the devil has been going on!? The last two months have been both lightening fast and terribly slow; waiting two months between scans is unbearable, so we booked in a cheeky private scan, which told us what gender we are having (still a secret just now), it was lovely to see Squidge wiggling around, smiling, sucking on its fist and being generally the right shape and size.

We have our ‘official’ 20 week scan tomorrow which is the anomaly scan. Due to my weightloss surgery last year, I have been referred for additional blood tests and growth scans, which is no bad thing.  I have been told that my ferritin levels are low, so have done some research and I’m getting my GP to prescribe some supplements, so far there are no adverse effects for Squidge, but if I bleed after birth there could be a problem, so best to increase levels.  I have also been referred to an NHS dietician as well, for the same reasons really.  I can’t complain, I am being looked after and most importantly so is Squidge.

In terms of movement I’ve felt flicks, pops and crackles, but nothing recognisable as a kick, but there is still time, and we have heard Squidge’s galloping little heartbeat on the Doppler.  We also got to see a ripple across my tum this morning which has to have been Squidge.  Squidge seems to prefer my right-hand side so lying down I can look a little lop-sided but its great to see more and more signs that there’s a baby in there!

We are pretty prepared, we just need the room finishing to put it all in!  My fella has been bloody amazing, in fact it’s Sunday night and he is latexing the floor in preparation to lay the new floors (after the shit builder made a right balls up of it all) so that we can get a move on before Sqidge arrives.

We have also booked our ‘Babymoon’ – a week away with the dog on the coast before the baby.  I can’t wait! I hope the weather is good!!

I have stopped losing weight which I am pleased about as it means that I am managing to eat and keep it in!

So, watch this space for baby stuff…

3 Stone… Gone

My Christmas stall is over, I lost the 4 lbs I was struggling with last week, which means that I am a total of 3 stone lighter.  I have had a rubbish afternoon, obviously ate something that disagreed with me, either I didn’t chew it enough or something but ended up with almost unbearable pains all afternoon, even flexi’d off early so I could come home and wallow in self pity.  And then just like that it was gone and I was fine.  Typical, and in all fairness very normal, I have been very lucky, or careful that in the last 11 weeks I have not been too poorly with my Sleeve. I did feel like death however. Probably self inflicted, so I am having an evening with fruit smoothie.

I have been going to aqua a couple of times a week and I did a particularly active session on Saturday and I now have DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) in my left buttock and it’s been making me limp all day… I have a sore arse!

I picked up some 3kg dumb bell thingies from aldi today too for me to use at home… well I might…

Making good use of my yumbox now at work, and may actually get rid of the actidiet stuff that is giving me pain.

My man is amazing, he came home today and moved my car and brought the cat food in without me even mentioning it to him. Every day he does something awesome.

So … all the things are good…

August

I seem to mainly blog when I’m in the negative range of emotions, I spose when I am happy I think less…

So here I am again… so what has brought me here and what emotion has triggered my fingers to tap out their melancholy tune on the keyboard this time (which I hasten to add is a little more complex than usual as my acrylics are due for their monthly and they are like talons!)? 

I think it’s irritability and frustration today.  Work in general is a pain in the wotsit, don’t get me wrong it’s a challenge, I have more autonomy than ever before, however the downside is that no matter how many times I cajole, teach, encourage, bollock, rant or rave there are people who just don’t get it and I fear that they never will and they get a shit load more money than me!  Hence huge frustration.  Then there’s the workload, oh my goodness I am busy – that is also good – keeps me out of trouble, but it also short circuits my brain.  Hence waking up way too early on a Saturday of the August bank holiday weekend thinking I have to go to work and being understandably off-kilter all day as a result!

The diet has gone to shit again but I am still at the gym and I have reintroduced the resistance machines into my work out so that’s about an hour cardio and 30-40 mins weights. The diet starts again Monday (doesn’t it always!), my dress for my fella’s sister’s wedding arrived the other day, and it’s lovely, it does up but breathing might be an issue therefore I have 4 weeks to shrink an inch…

I am skint; I have finally done the grown up thing and got rid of ALL my credit cards, I have consolidated what was outstanding and passed it to the credit union to take out of my wages monthly.  So I wont see the cash to spend.  I have now got a rather handy pre-pay card from paypal, I would recommend this to anyone not only can you only spend what is on your paypal account (it doesn’t pick up your backup payment method either), but unlike others there are no fees to load it up. I should be clear of my debts by the end of 2015 – so it’s official I have a financial 3 year plan. I am feeling a little too old at this point.

My crafting is going ok, I’d like more time to do it of course and I’d like more people to actually buy stuff rather that just telling me they think I’m talented – whilst this is lovely it doesn’t fill my purse!  I’ve opened an etsy store and I have been making Fimo stuff, I have found that it’s very therapeutic, like art therapy.  However my cleaning doesn’t often get done! I really do need staff! 

 

I was going to be doing a craft fair thing tomorrow but the organiser never got back to me so I guess I am not going (that’s professional eh). I need a couple of crafty bits; some black fimo and a tool that will cut out holes in pendants, like a sharp metal straw so I may go to my local craft shop tomorrow and have a root around.

If the rain stays off this weekend I may even get the bike out and go for a spin but I shan’t hold my breath as it’s bank holiday weekend after all and it’s been chucking it down all day!

This evening I am going to shower, get my comfy PJs on and chill out.  If I wake up in the same fashion the next 2 days I might cry so I may even treat myself to a Valarian tea before bed.

Take care peeps… Positive blog soon… I hope! x