My last blog piece took a lot, and still does as it is the reality I am living right now, so it’s expected I guess that I have fallen into a bit of a lull or writer’s block since publishing it – but it felt good to get it out! Out from rattling about in my brain and expelled into the void.
This made me think about what else is rattling around in my brain at the moment.
Overwhelmingly these days it’s the ongoing chatter in my head about ADHD and women, or more so, ADHD and me.
I am waiting for an assessment to see if I have ADHD.
It’s been on my mind a number of years to be honest.
Let’s look at what ADHD is; Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is commonly (and described by the NHS as) a condition that affects people’s behaviour. People with ADHD can seem restless, may have trouble concentrating and may act on impulse.
Usually noticed at an early age, pre-puberty.
Again the NHS states that although the cause is unknown that it has been shown to run in families (first tick – My brother has it, was diagnosed early, typical presentation, I am also fairly certain that from family descriptions that my Uncle had it, he passed away some years ago), I actually think my Mother has some traits but less on that…
The NHS also states:
“Research has also identified a number of possible differences in the brains of people with ADHD when compared with those without the condition.
Other factors suggested as potentially having a role in ADHD include:”
- being born prematurely (before the 37th week of pregnancy) – Tick
- having a low birthweight -Tick
- smoking or alcohol or drug abuse during pregnancy – Tick (Mother was a smoker, it was the 70’s/80’s)
So that’s the surface scratched.
What they don’t tell you is that it presents VERY differently in women and girls.
Whilst boys may be physically hyperactive, defiant, ‘badly behaved’ and therefore easier to spot and diagnose, girls symptoms manifest very differently and have been viewed as personality traits, leading to diagnosis being overlooked.
Now whilst those that know and have known me over the years wouldn’t attribute shyness to me, those that know me well will also know that I have terrible social anxiety (in fact ALL the anxiety). However a great deal of time spent in my younger days of being the gregarious life and soul of the party I was rarely without a few drinks in before everyone else.
You might be more familiar with this description “verbally impulsive, interrupting others, talking excessively, or changing topics again and again during conversations. She might blurt out words without thinking about their impact on others.
“But this girl may also be overly sensitive. Some girls are described as overemotional and easily excitable.”
Research shows that girls with ADHD, especially those who’ve gone undiagnosed, suffer from low self-esteem. Then there’s the Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and the impulse control, the eating disorder (that would be the impulse control issue and on a dopamine hunt!).
“The Link Between ADHD and Overeating
Those who live by impulse eat by impulse. Eating compulsively is a main cause of obesity in many adults with ADHD. I have found that the condition is five times more prevalent among over-eaters than in the general population. Just as adults with ADHD may struggle to understand what someone is saying, they have difficulty interpreting what their bodies are telling them. They mistake feeling upset (or bored) for feeling hungry and many reach for food to combat boredom.”
ADHD Linked to Eating Disorders
I could delve into all the issues and symptoms that have over the years led me to believe that I have ADHD… there is a broad spectrum, and I am no means crippled by it. I have always felt like a square peg with nothing but round holes around me, I just don’t fit, and I never have.
Signs and symptoms of adult ADHD
Through this voyage of discovery (cliché) I have found that there are a number of other women (I guess we aint girls no more ladies!) who have been diagnosed in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, there are a raft of ‘forgotten women’ who are my age that should have been diagnosed in the 80’s and 90’s but perhaps were just labelled ‘difficult, or ‘obtuse’ and we just couldn’t find our space to just be.
Now this isn’t to say I have ADHD officially, I am on a loooong waiting list, and I wonder day-to-day if I really am – if I am having a good day perhaps, am I being a hypochondriac attention seeker – I know someone would call me that at least, am I just a product of a challenging emotional past? But then I flip and wonder if that is just the imposter syndrome in me… the power of that one is STRONG and definitely from the dark side!
The more and more I looked – it just ALL FUCKING FITS (but then does it…. ?? Ooh that naughty dark side!)
I shall leave you with this video (Facebook)
I mean I literally have been reading hundreds of articles, the ones I have grabbed for this were literally one click google searches.
We shall see – maybe #iamadhd and maybe I’m not
On this International Women’s Day I thought that this might be a good insight, and perhaps open some minds as to the differences in male and female ADHD and the difference in the care they receive because of stereotypes. Not all ADHD is batchitcraycray.
momma of childerbeast 